So what’s cheesed me off in the last few days?

2 02 2014

a.k.a…….So why exactly are you against That Modern Football? Part 27

101. More statistical bullshit

‏Last week I read a tweet….

@sportingintel MT @alexcobham How unequal are Europe’s ‘Big 5’ leagues? Based on squad costs << taller tower, less equal the league

….that came with a graph.


I tried to work out what the graph was saying but I couldn’t. My lack of understanding might be due to the gap between today and my Maths GCSE exam but I doubt it.

Normalised Herfindahl index????? Market Concentration????   What the hell does it all mean????? What is the graph trying to tell us????? What’s the percentage about?????

102. Gazprom’s grip on European football

Gazprom does not light up the football. FACT.

Read this to see why. Be warned, it’s quite worrying.

103. When managers tells you their thoughts

Some managers bitch when they lose. For example Chelsea drew 0-0 with West Ham last week and Mourinho said; “West Ham played 19th Century Football”

Some managers use hyperbole when they lose. For example  Tottenham’s Tim Sherwood and Blackburn’s Gary Bowyer have both said “Man City are the best team in the world” after they’d lost matches to City.

The clear solution is broadcasting less opinion.  We need to stop interviewing managers, and players, and pundits, and experts, and fans. We need to stop Chiles, Townsend and Lovejoy.


Read this to see why TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY™ is the epitome of TMF.

TRANSFER DEADLINE DAY™ only exists because people have let corporate interests get away with it so it’s hilarious when an evening’s LADism-fuelled enthusiasm……

@_stevelee_ Transfer deadline day drinking game with the boys later, life don’t get much better #wavey

@WIGGy_muFc  @rickjoyeux deadline day drinking game, let the fun begin, come on Jim lad!! #TransferDeadlineDay @SkySports

@Rob_Huish Transfer deadline day drinking game is amazing @j_hind @Tim_Brown94

@ShaunAT_11 Transfer deadline day drinking game with the lads #GettingOnIt

…..becomes a morning’s wistful realisation of alienation from humanity;

@fossymassive Who else had a bad deadline day?:/

@RyanCasey74 What a shit desdline day #wasteoftime

@Jwilson96_  Shittest deadline day ever

 ‏@DionMayhew Never going to learn that no future deadline day will ever match the best windows of Jan 2011 #Torres #Suarez #Carrol

@SamJudas99 You know it’s a bad Deadline Day when Crystal Palace and QPR have done the best.

105. More Twitter rubbish

Earlier this week an intellectual Loyalist and Rangers fan called Billy Carson started following me on twitter. He dearly wanted  to have a conversation with me.

@bigbilly62 wank

@bigbilly62 wanker

@bigbilly62 bawbag

@bigbilly62 now fuck off

Yesterday an account by the name of @MoyesOutASAP  appeared on my timeline, the account contained this bio;

Everyone join the #MoyesOut campaign. Spread the word. Save the club from mediocrity. #MUFC Sign this twitition …

If we have a closer look at that twitter petition, their twitition, we find out this;

#MoyesOut campaign is a fan-funded drive to collect funds from genuine Manchester United fans and donate it to the club so that a new manager is appointed“1

Here are a couple of their tweets;

@MoyesOutASAP This is a request to all match day going @ManUtd fans to boycott all home games till Moyes is sacked. Your support is precious. #MoyesOut

@MoyesOutASAP Not since Munich 1958 has something caused so much damage to this great club. #MoyesOut

Even if this is joke profile, or a WUM (Wind Up Merchant) in action, it’s still a note-perfect satire of TMF.

106. He’s the owner, he does what he wants

This statement appeared on the Leeds United website at 12:20pm yesterday afternoon;


A statement from the owners…

Following recent media reports and speculation, GFH Capital would like to confirm that it has agreed to sell a 75 per cent stake in the club to Eleonora Sport Ltd, a company owned by the Cellino family who have many years experience in football and who plan to invest substantially in the club including the re acquisition of Elland Road. Eleonora will be working on completing the required Football League approval.

The Cellino Family is a well known Italian sports family, who have owned Serie A side Cagliari since 1992. They come to English football with an ambition to support Leeds United financially to take it to the Premier League and a belief that the club can sustain top-flight status.

Since the agreement, Leeds United is in discussion with Elenora Sport Ltd. on a number of issues concerning the Club matters including the structure of the management of the first team.

This article appeared on the Yorkshire Eveneing Post at 05:30 yesterday morning.

Cellino flexes his muscles at Leeds United       

Leeds United were consumed by chaos last night after new owner Massimo Cellino began his reign at Elland Road by ruthlessly sacking Brian McDermott and losing two major club sponsors. 

Cellino, who is on the verge of completing a £25m buy-out of Leeds, dismissed McDermott within hours of securing a deal for the club – prompting shirt sponsor Enterprise Insurance to dramatically withdraw its support in protest.

Yorkshire-based theme park Flamingo Land, which backs United’s academy with a deal worth a six-figure sum each year, followed suit soon after as anger over the treatment of McDermott spread.

Andrew Flowers, the managing director of Enterprise Insurance and until Thursday part of a consortium who were bidding to buy Leeds from current owner Gulf Finance House, said the sale to Cellino and his ruthless dismissal of McDermott was “a disgraceful decision which brings the club into disrepute and one which we won’t be associated with.”

Enterprise Insurance paid its sizeable sponsorship fee in full and up front earlier this season and the money is understood to have been used to tie top scorer and club captain Ross McCormack to a new four-year contract in August.

Flowers told the YEP: “I’m devastated for Brian and we’ll be looking to end our sponsorship of the club. In no way do we wish to be associated with this regime.”

McDermott took training at Thorp Arch on Friday and held his regular press conference shortly after 1pm, voicing uncertainty about his future at Elland Road with Cellino close to finalising a 75 per cent takeover.

The former Reading was dismissed later in the day and informed of Cellino’s decision to sack him by an unknown lawyer.

Acting chief executive Paul Hunt is also understood to have left Elland Road.

Gianluca Festa, the former Middlesbrough defender and a long-time ally of Cellino’s, is set to take charge of United’s squad for today’s game against Huddersfield Town at Elland Road, exposing him to an inevitable backlash from the club’s supporters. Cellino attempted to place Festa in the Leeds dug-out for their 1-1 draw with Ipswich Town on Tuesday, a request that was denied by the club but which many saw as a blatant attempt to undermine McDermott.

United have not parted company with assistant manager Nigel Gibbs or first-team coach Neil Redfearn and both could assist 44-year-old Festa this afternoon.

Gibbs in particular is highly unlikely to remain at Elland Road beyond this weekend.

Festa has little in the way of prior management experience, all of it coming during a short stint as manager of Italian lower league side Lumezzane during the 2012-13 season.

He is, however, a close confidant of Cellino’s and made a number of visits to Thorp Arch while Cellino was tying up his takeover.

The owner and president of Cagliari is believed to have  agreed all necessary terms with

Turn to page 43

GFH and the club were expected to make an official announcement today. No comment was made by them last night as tempers flared in the wake of McDermott’s exit.

The Football League is now facing a key decision over whether to sanction the 57-year-old’s takeover with Flowers poised to mount a legal challenge if the takeover gains official approval.

Flowers was one of the figures behind Sport Capital, the consortium who tried and failed to buy Leeds from GFH last month and conceded defeat in their bid on Thursday. “I’m considering all legal options,” he said.

The Football League’s Owners and Directors Test appears to be all that stands between Cellino and full confirmation of his buy-out, and the governing body will come under intense scrutiny when it begins considering a record showing two conviction in the Italian courts for fraud.

Football League rules require anyone purchasing more than a 10 per cent stake in any of its member clubs to pass the test, and the League’s regulations ban anyone with “unspent convictions for offences of dishonesty, corruption, perverting the course of justice, serious breaches of the Companies Act or conspiracy to commit any of those offences” from becoming an owner or a director.

It is not known whether Cellino intends to take up a seat on the board at Elland Road – his son Ercole, who spent time in Leeds last week and took tours of United’s stadium and training ground, has been suggested as a possible figurehead for Cellino’s regime – but the Italian’s involvement will bring the Football League’s policies into sharp focus.

Those doubts, however, did not aid McDermott, who was appointed by Leeds on a three-year deal in April and oversaw just 36 games.

A source close to the 52-year-old said: “The things that have gone on at Leeds are unbelievable. He’s shocked and devastated to be leaving. It’s very, very wrong.”

As Cellino and GFH tied up loose ends, a desperate attempt was made by another group of potential buyers to drag GFH to the negotiating table.

Leeds Together, fronted by ex-Manchester United International managing director Mike Farnan, urged the Bahraini bank to engage it in meaningful talks and consider an offer which they said was “the best way forward.”

But Cellino’s bid found more favour with GFH and he and his associates are understood to have flown into England from Italy yesterday to put the finishing touches to his takeover.

There were no confirmed transfers in or out of Elland Road last night, with Leeds turning down a flurry of approaches for captain and top scorer Ross McCormack.

In the 7 hours between the article and the statement people realized that McDermott had been sacked by an football club owner that didn’t yet own a football club.

Just to make things even more interesting this statement was published on Leeds United’s website at 5:00pm yesterday afternoon;


A statement….

The club would like to make it clear that Brian McDermott remains our first team manager. He has not been dismissed from his post as has been suggested and we look forward to him continuing in his role with us in taking Leeds United forwards.

If only there was a test that potential club owners could take.




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