I’ve got the hometown blues baby

20 02 2015

A couple of weeks ago I went to Llandudno, The Queen Of Welsh Resorts. I saw this sign;

Oct 29 1494

Like most people I’m not surprised when I newish street furniture but there was something disturbing about this particular inanimate object. Its application of alliteration – “private property” – to this particular vista foisted a deadening shadow upon my salad days, the golden memories of my youth were now sullied.

The patch of grass in the photo was once our perfect football pitch. The grass was perfect, the ground was scientifically flat and the area perfectly proportioned by its natural boundaries of path, grass bank, road and wall. Our fabulous games were a fabulous time of unworried shots, unruffled saves, rolled down socks and carefree grass stains on Umbro Inter away shirts.

It’s one thing to see another’s reckless abandon casually delete your past, it’s quite another to see cherished memories replaced by the dead hand of feudalism. The Llandudno I once lived is lights years away from our foreign country.

The mean streets of my hometown told me I was adrift of my moorings six months ago. The wrong people were now doing Alan Partridge’s Kate Bush Melody on the comedy gold Karaoke circuit, camouflage espadrilles were now worn with abandon, wedding suit trousers were now too short and coupled with sockless ox blood loafers and bow ties, nowadays black nike air xax trainers were worn to funerals. This was the situation six months ago, flip knows what state the town’s in now. Thank god I wasn’t paying attention a couple of weeks ago.

A promenade to town once held the promise of holidaymaker led exoticism and associated cultural exchange but now it’s just a walk to town in the rain. An Asda sits where my old school used to, the new version of my school sits where the town’s old rubbish dump used to. The newsagent that used to deliver our Daily Posts now displays a sign for Murdoch’s tabloid.

I once saw Catfish and The Bottlemen in a pub basement in Llandudno’s cultural quarter. Three years later they said this;

“….I Tweeted FIFA, and then our fans started getting involved, trying to trend the hashtag #getcatfishonfifa, so FIFA picked up and listened.

I’m more excited about that than anything; any tour, any album. That’s our childhood dream. It was massive for us growing up.”

Where’s King Canute’s throne?



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