Everything that’s wrong with That Modern Football in 112 characters

9 11 2014
At roughly 10:36 yesterday evening the official Premier League’s official twitter account ejaculated this tweet in to the public domain;
‏”@premierleague @SouthamptonFC are the 11th side in #BPL history to have conceded 5 or fewer goals after 11 games”

What the flipping heck?

There are at least ten things wrong with this tweet.

Firstly, it exists.

Secondly, it exists.

Thirdly, it exists.

Fourthly, someone from the premier league organisation actually typed this tweet.

Fifthly, “#BPL history”

Sixthly, “#BPL history”

Seventhly, someone from the premier league organisation actually typed “#BPL history”

Eigthly, has there ever been anything significant about an eleventh side doing the same thing as the ten previous sides?

Ninthly, does anyone actually care about this level of analysis?

Tenthly, this tweet owes its existence to the illusory situation that pretentious people created for themselves.

There are fools that think they truly understand football. Not only do these fools not understand football they don’t understand the idea that enthusiastic amateurs will gain nothing from the application of numbers to sportsman with grass strains on their shorts. It’s hard enough to accurately predict what will happen in the future by looking at what happened in the past, it’s even harder when a muddy 18 yard box and a clumsy defender are involved.

Football is something you either get or you don’t, when you get football you understand it. A pseud with a calculator and spreadsheets will never understand football.

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