Paddy Power prevents platonic pondering

25 04 2014

Paddy Power is to human race what Paddy McGuniess is to comedy. If Paddy Power were a real person it’s highly likely that he’d be “Paddy the Prick”,  a less talented and less subtle version of Paddy McGuiness, someone that you can actually picture saying “Let the Shameless Women see the Moronic Wanker!!!”

Luckily for us Paddy Power is one of those irritating betting companies. Sadly for us the alliterative travesty has made the conscious decision to produce some of the worst adverts you’re ever likely to see.

Paddy the Prick goes a bit further than the typical bookmaker, he doesn’t set his limit at shouty tossers and gruff floating heads. He offers odds on the outcome of a trial with adverts like this.

Oscar-Pistorius_1928812a

Thankfully he was caught out on that occasion. Paddy the Prick can be cringeworthy as well as gratuitously offensive. He’ll force one of  his employees to dress up as the Grim Reaper and stalk David Moyes during Christendom’s holiest period…

Everton-fan-dressed-as-the-Grim-Reaper

…and then claim that it was yet another glorious “Cunning Stunt”.

How Paddy Power marked a Grim season for David Moyes and Manchester United

The Grim Reaper appears at Goodison Park to call time on the former Everton manager’s stint as Red Devils’ boss.

by Sean Goff | April 20, 2014

 

Was this the final nail in the coffin for David Moyes’ time at Manchester United?

Paddy Power sent their very own Grim Reaper into Goodison Park on Sunday afternoon, sitting just a few feet away from the now former United manager.

The beleaguered Scot returned to his old stomping ground but it didn’t make for happy viewing as his Red Devils’ side were beaten 2-0 by his former club.

But not before Paddy Power’s Grim Reaper, the black-cloaked, scythe-wielding personification of when your time is up, signalled what many United fans – and the bean-counters at Old Trafford – were thinking.

Moyes’ departure from Old Trafford was confirmed by the club on Tuesday morning as he was sacked by Manchester United.

Paddy Power have always been known for our Cunning Stunts at Paddy Power. Earlier this season we even went to Old Trafford to reveal how Sir Alex Ferguson was about to make a stunning return to the club he managed with unrivalled success for 27 years.

Landscape-image-1-Fergies-back-Paddy-Power-e1390133458122

This time last season United has just hammered Aston Villa. Sir Alex Ferguson’s side had the league title wrapped up with a 16-point gap between them and neighbours Manchester City. Just 12 months later and the unthinkable P45 for Moyes looks to be on the cards.

Moyes’ first year in charge has already seen him break more records than Usain Bolt. But not in the good way.

David-Moyes-record-breaker-UPDATE

With practically the same squad as well as newbies Marouane Fellaini and Juan Mata who were signed for a combined £64m, the Red Devils are certain to miss out on the Champions League for the first time since 1996.

Meanwhile at Goodison, Roberto Martinez and Everton sit 12 points ahead of them in the Premier League table having done the double over them for the first time since 1970.

In literature and thoughtful films the appearance of the grim reaper usually signifies that someone is about to pass from the mortal realm, for Paddy the Prick the harbinger of death is but mere banter on an Easter Sunday. The Banter 1 Judeo-Christian tradition 0. Sadly another of his plans backfired as the Grim Reaper was ejected.

When Paddy the Prick’s not acting in a grossly offensive or cringeworthy manner he produces a load of crap.

Paddy Power

You can see what he’s trying to do; a Liver bird, an Agent called Moyes and a mission that’s been accomplished. This advert might have been mildly amusing for 5 seconds if Moyes had left Liverpool rather than Everton and if Liverpool FC were a hostile country with paid secret agents rather than a football club.

It’s not only crap, it’s inconsistent crap. The mixture of fonts and colours is an utter mess. Why the colon? Why the nod towards Mission Impossible? Would a buff coloured file with “Agent Moyes” and “Mission” in black type and a Liver Bird in red ink have been too much trouble? Paddy the Prick could have marked the file with some kind of “ACCOMPLISHED” stamp motif in red but he obviously couldn’t be arsed.

The worst aspect of Paddy the Prick’s approach is that he seems to think he’s the official sponsor of “The Banter”™. An Emergency Alex Ferguson might be a mildly amusing idea but does he need to live in a Paddy Power sponsored case?

Paddy’s shtick turns him into the despised alpha male of the office night out. Does he need to revel in the  possible deaths of elderly people on zebra crossings, the belittling of blind footballers or the ethic cleansing of poor people. . Like all cuntish alpha males Paddy the Prick is pleased with himself

We had been betting on who would be next Pope for a number of years, and when John Paul II was obviously very ill, interest in his successor soared. When Pope John Paul II died, there was a period of mourning in Rome and the world’s media were camped in Rome with nothing to talk about. We thought it would be a good idea to give them a story. So Paddy Power (pictured above) and Head of Mischief Ken Robertson packed their bags and jumped on a plane to Rome. They went straight to St Peter’s Square, set up a bookies stand and began shouting odds. There was huge interest from the public in Rome as everyone wanted to know who the bookies thought would be next Pope. The media caught the bug too and over the course of three days they were interviewed on more than 90 international TV networks. The highlight of the adventure was when Ken had a gun pulled on him by a member of the Italian Secret Service, he somehow managed to evade capture.

Head of Mischief“……..”Chief Cunt” more like. If Paddy the Prick was making satirical points against taboos and out of date social mores their approach might be commendable but all Paddy the Prick is trying to do is prize us away from our money. Shockingly the his approach seems to have fans.

@TFBible  @paddypower The Grim Reaper prank was a brilliant idea shame you got thrown out!
@GabzBenony96  So the grim reaper was a Paddy Power stunt… This is why I bet with them!
@LittleisaRed  Paddy Power’s grim reaper earlier at the Everton game was hilarious. Eventually got ejected haha!

@AndrewBloch  PR Stunt of the Day: Paddy Power send Grim Reaper to haunt Moyes at Everton vs. Man Utd game: pic.twitter.com/qp3FChI5VB #EFC #MUFC

 @MattyF1_EFC  The Grim Reaper was amazing @paddypower  pic.twitter.com/roNmBmdOvi
 @stevenwoan  top stunt that from paddy power with the grim reaper haha.
As Alan Partridge once said; “Some People…….”
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