So why exactly are you against That Modern Football? Part 12

19 10 2013

50. Homogenising Twats

Some time last year I discovered a clip of Manchester City fans having a bit of fun in Madrid.

Yesterday I came across a story on the BBC website that included these lines;

“Drunk students who brought Newcastle city centre to a standstill while singing and dancing along to a cult football chant have been criticised by Northumbria Police.

Footage of dozens of people joining in a song praising brothers Yaya and Kolo Toure was posted online.”

A big “Well Done!!!!!!!” for the BBC there for turning “Students acting like silly billies” in to a news story.

Once upon a time people would attempt to enliven football away trips by developing songs or chants or even dances (see Cardiff’s “Ayatollah”). Whatever the inventive people devised it would entertain people for an afternoon, evening or couple of days, sometimes the song, chant or dance would take off, sometimes it wouldn’t.

Nowadays people attempt to enliven football away trips by developing songs or chants or even dances. Whatever the inventive people come up with it entertains people for an afternoon, evening or couple of days. The footage is then uploaded to You Tube to enable bloody students to piss all over football culture by appropriating something they have absolutely no connection with.

To be fair to the bloody students they’re just victims of our contemporary culture. God knows how but our culture seems to create a herd mentality. In football this usually means that people eschew thinking in order destroy fresh and worthy ideas through pointless recycling.

This pointless recycling has to stop. Take heed tossers, we don’t need your “comedy” wigs and unfocussed volcanic rages. We don’t need your ridiculous badge kissing and celebratory “COME ON!!!!s” to passing cameras. Just fuck off and find a new hobby. If the pull of “beautiful game” is too strong you can still help; shut up and give the rest of us peace.

Sadly you it doesn’t look like you people can be quiet. You lot are too busy being funny or thinking that it’s important that the rest of us are aware that you care about the beautiful game. Well lads, here’s the breaking news……..we’re actively trying to forget that you lot exist. WE DON’T CARE WHAT YOU FUCKERS THINK.

Look at what you lot have done to our songs. You have taken the improvised momentary brilliance of FC United’s “What a waste of council Tax, We paid for your hats” and vomited on its spirit. This is your effect on football. You lot to try “have a laugh” by singing “We’re (Insert your team name here), we’ll do what we want!!!!” and “We Pay Your Benefits!!!” Headbutting a wall gives sentient people more joy than listening to this.

Look pricks, kindly leave football alone. It was here before you were arsed about and it’ll be here when you’ve discovered something else, we’ll here when you’ve buggered off so kindly try not to sully everything for us.

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