Twitter shows the way

1 09 2013

If you have a nagging sensation that something’s wrong with football but can’t quite put your finger on it simply log on to twitter and you’ll understand what’s wrong within 30 seconds.

Firstly, there’s the profound advice from the other side of the world;

@PremalMShah What a fantastic win for Liverpool. Keep it up @LFC. Man Utd, this is your life after Fergie. Adapt yourself. #YNWA #TopOfTheTable #MUtards

There’s also the colourful football-related language that people use. I’m not just talking about made-up words like  “MUtards” I mean phrases like “Bin Dippers“, which is generally used as a synonym for “Liverpool fan”. We were bound to see this phrase today as Liverpool played host to Manchester United today and twitter didn’t disappoint;

@White_Dog_81 One of the worst things about losing to the bin dippers… is the fact I’ve gotta go to work tomorrow and have it rubbed in my face all day

@Keithyheffo  I hate that scruff gerrard love to kick his teeth out de bindipping cunt

@cste91 Bin dippers top of the league though. Watch the ‘This is our year’ brigade wank themselves into a frenzy

Twitter is absolutely brilliant for allowing that people that are only interested in football because they’ve been snared by the hyperbole to feel like proper fans. Those three tweets above were created by people from Barrow, Milton Keynes and Dublin respectively.

Twitter also allows “The Banter” to inspire hilarious references to loss of life;

@jordyboy1982 All Munichs do u trust moyes?

@CRAVYMUFC – Typical scousers beat united think they won the league #scouselogic  #murderes #fence #squash #Hillsborough

@Sheppard17:-  Hope there’s a new hillsborough today, 96 scousers isn’t enough lol”

The last charmer is an unapologetic user of “The Banter” from Coventry. Twitter also allows one to see the use football-related humour by intellectuals;

@littletomo90 – scousers should stick a D at the end of YNWA. You’ve Never Worked A Day.

Rather worryingly twitter also allows one to  see the near victory of Murdoch’s outlook on the horizon.

@premierleague – This will be the 43rd #BPL match between @LFC and @ManUtd. Overall record to date: Liverpool 11 wins, Man Utd 23 wins, 8 draws #LIVMUN

@Cossie7279 – Liverpool top of the league after beating the Mancs and now watching possibly 1 of the best GAA games of all time #CarlsbergSunday

@Turbo1877 – Always laugh at Sky trying to bill Utd & the Scousers on an equal footing in pre-match build up. 13 x EPL champions v 0 x winners! #fact

You always have to respect an argument that ends with #fact. My favourite piece of twitter evidence was one of last night’s retweets with it’s accompanying photo;

@theawayfans Good lad. #Priorities

BS7qkeDIcAA6zq4

The phrase “and I’m not changing that for anybody, it’s priorities” is such a banal way to find out that Murdoch is winning. It’s like I live in a completely different world.

I think the time has come for an exam system for the people who want to be football fans, if these people don’t pass the exam then they’re not allowed to buy tickets or have an opinion.

At the very least people should be forced to read articles like A Fine Lung’s  “Me and the scouser and “Green and gold until Park is sold….”

 

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