So why exactly are you against Modern Football?

28 07 2013

I’ve always found it difficult to provide a succinct answer to the question in this post’s title.

Then I remembered about the clown in Manchester United: Beyond The Promised Land.

See if you can spot him in this video.

(Here’s a clue; he’s the Irish bloke that emigrated to America to be a barman)

I listened to the inherent lyricism of the clown’s meticulously clichéd persona and pictured a great tableau…………….

The sun beats down on the  busy urban street as the traffic grinds forward.

Loud Engines, loud horns, loud voices. 

A taxi driver spots a queue amid the hustle and bustle of urban life, he sees two strangers communicate. He sees a reciprocal renewal of the human spirit in an oasis of calm. 

Then he remembers that he’s seen the man in the black and red baseball cap before. Yes of course, he’s been in the back of the cab. Jesus what a journey that was. He’s not the kind of customer you forget, although he’s the sort of customer you need to forget.

He realises what’s about to happen,  he knows exactly what the other person will be feeling. He can’t help but pity them as he watches in petrified horror.

The hunter spends five minutes wondering how to crowbar Manchester United in to the conversation, the prey spends four and a half minutes wondering how to engineer an escape from the hectoring fool.

The taxi driver knows a fare coming, and lo, the prey thrusts a hand out!!!! 

The prey shouts; “GET ME AWAY FROM THAT CLOWN……………..ANYWHERE I DON’T CARE, JUST DRIVE,…….just drive!!!”

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