A scarf for your soul?, Part 6*

30 05 2013

*Disclaimer: If you read the When Saturday Comes message board, or use twitter, parts of this post may look plagarised. They’re not. I assure that I came up with the ideas independently, honestly yer honour it’s the truth I tells ya.

Yesterday Cardiff City released pictures of their new kit;

cardiff-city-home-kit

A lot of twitter users didn’t like the two-tone colour scheme, you know as if there’s something intrinsically wrong with tone-tone colour schemes. Well there’s nothing wrong with two-tone colour schemes, a fact that SV Hamburg prove with this lovely ensemble from a few seasons ago.

Soccer - UEFA Cup - Quarter Final - Second Leg - Manchester City v Hamburg SV - City of Manchester Stadium

While two tone colour schemes are often great, they only become great in the right circumstances. Cardiff’s two-tone colour scheme is  a different matter. I think my friend Phil said it best when he tweeted.

“This kit is an absolute insult to the memory of Cardiff City, the Bluebirds.”

The marketing spiel put it somewhat differently.

As promised, here’s the first look at the 2013/14 Cardiff City kit as supplied by Puma, ready for our Premier League campaign in August.

The kit can be seen, modeled by members of Cardiff City’s senior, Ladies, DS Active and Futsal teams, led by ‘City skipper Mark Hudson and forming part of our all-inclusive ethos at the club. As supporters, players, staff, whoever we are, we are one City, one community, one club. #WeAreCardiffCity

The unique, classic and stylish looking kit can be pre-ordered from Friday May 31st through our official Superstore website, with deliveries set to be processed in time for your holidays in July.

The club decided to maximise on the Puma King design and adopt a two-tone red home kit this season, helping us stand out in the Premier League crowd. The two Puma King stripes reflect the fans loyalty to the club, which is appreciated by all.

We hope you all enjoy the results and look forward to seeing you all wearing your new shirt – with quite a few optional sleeve badges we think – as the season gets underway.

Don’t forget to tweet #WeAreCardiffCity this season. The fixtures and first game aren’t too long away now!!

I love the way marketing people assume that the public love to read complete bollocks. I mean look at this;

“The kit…….. forming part of our all-inclusive ethos at the club. As supporters, players, staff, whoever we are, we are one City, one community, one club. #WeAreCardiffCity

It’s lucky that I’m fluent in marketing bollocks so I can translate. The following

 “…….all-inclusive ethos at the club. As supporters, players, staff, whoever we are, we are one City, one community, one club.” 

actually means;

“We all wear the same coloured clothing so it looks like we’re are all on the same side.”

I wonder if the inclusivity includes the Cardiff fans that don’t like the red kit? Now, let’s turn to this;

“The club decided to maximise on the Puma King design and adopt a two-tone red home kit this season, helping us stand out in the Premier League crowd.”

Standing out in the premier league crowd with a kit that looks a bit like Liverpool’s, that’s absolutely brilliant!!! The following is nearly the worst piece of marketing bollocks in the piece;

“The unique, classic and stylish looking kit…”

This phrase is complete rubbish, ahem, has been written under too much artistic license. The design isn’t unique; Wolves, MotherwellRaith Rovers, Chesterfield and probably most of the Puma supplied clubs will be using a similar template nest season. (Incidentally, if you’ve ever wondered why clubs have template-based Puma kits, it’s because the same company, Genesis Sports, supplies them all). Judging from the reaction on twitter the kit isn’t considered a classic or a stylish design either. The worst piece of marketing bollocks in the piece is this line.

“The two Puma King stripes reflect the fans loyalty to the club, which is appreciated by all.”

Firstly, it sounds like something a mealy-mouthed politician or penitent tax-fiddling chief executive would say. Secondly, within the contest of Cardiff’s rebrand,  it’s a hollow attempt to curry favour. Lastly the phrase sounds like Cardiff City have actually written the line themselves, you know in order to make it look as though they care about the opinion of the fans. In reality Puma came up with the line, similar language was used when Wolves’ new kit was unveiled.

The PUMA King shirt, includes the famous two stripes within  the neckline, representing the passion and loyalty of the fans.

They don’t really explain how the two stripes actually reflect the fans loyalty to a club do they? Why the hell isn’t good enough to be truthful? Something like “Well we needed some kind of design around the collar area.” would have sufficed.

Overblown ideas are typical from Puma, see how they market football boots;

“Performance is the lifeblood of football.

The better we perform, the more we enjoy it. And the more we enjoy it, the better we perform. 

But at PUMA, we create boots that don’t just boost performance, but reflect your footballing nature, and the way you play the game. We call this the Nature of Performance, and it’s at the heart of everything we do. Our boots elevate their wearers, releasing them from their shackles for 90 minutes every Saturday.

Take Agüero, the Speed Junkie. Blurrily quick feet that leave defenders in a daze. Does that sound like you? Sergio likes the lightweight, responsive evoSPEED. You might do too.

Fàbregas is power hungry. Powerful long-range screamers, powerful tackles, powerful runs . The kind of stuff you see him doing each and every match. The PowerCat 1 is his partner, driving him on to deliver the goods. 

And then there’s Yaya. He doesn’t just own the ball; he casts a spell over it. The man is all about running the game, owning the play – you could call him a control freak. If you like being in charge, then his King boots are for you.

Now it’s your chance to tell the world about the nature of your performance. Visit PUMA’s new Nature of Performance Facebook app and show your allegiance. 

Make a statement and join the team that best represents your nature – Sergio’s speed junkies, Yaya’s control freaks or Cesc’s team of power hungry individuals. 

Get personal after-game messages, virtual training sessions, exclusive competitions and all the latest news and info about your team and your captain. You won’t find this stuff anywhere else.

So there’s just one question to answer… which team are you going to join?

And again… 

Looking back through the sands of time, there’s one character trait that defines the human species – the desire to improve. We want to be better, stronger, faster. It’s in our nature.

At PUMA we’re driven by the same hunger. Every time we get in the lab and create a new boot, we need to break boundaries, defy convention and evolve.

There’s no doubt that the PUMA evoSPEED has revolutionised the game. But did we sit back, pat ourselves on the back and say job done? You know us better than that.

We wanted to break the speed limit, creating a new evoSPEED that was lighter, more flexible and even faster. But how do you take the speediest boot around and inject it with even more blistering pace? Simple – you go to Ducati, or as we call them ‘The Godfathers of Speed.’

Puma are simply transfixed by their own significance . I don’t think we should be too harsh on Puma however as bullshit production is rampant in the sports manufacturing industry.  Mind you bullshit production is vital if you want to get on with visionaries. It certainly looks like Vinny boy and Puma are a perfect fit. They’re both living the dream.

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