Some Bangor City reports

8 05 2012
Llanelli 0 Bangor City 1
Welsh Premier League
11/ 2/12

This was a day for the good guys, the kind of day that makes a season, the kind of day that makes having an interest in football seem worthwhile . On days such as these the little details make things memorable; the early rise, the long journey down amongst nice people, the sights and sounds on the train, the “Over 55” train discount enjoyed by all members of our group without exception (apart from me of course), the taxi drivers full of local character and bonhomie, the excellently personalised service in Llanelli’s club house, the homeward bound feast that included sushi. Above all it’s the quality moidering that brings the day together. Just in case you’re unaware of the term “moidering” I’ll refer you to the urban dictionary.” Moidering” is;

“N. Wales general street catch-all term meaning, variously, to ‘talk nonsense’; ‘to corner someone and batter their head with words’

Days like this earn nicknames, on days like this people earn nicknames. Today saw the birth of the “Over 55 Ultras!!”

The central detail of the day, Bangor’s last minute winner, brought everything together beautifully. It was a sweet, sweet, sweet moment, as last minute winners are wont to be. The last minute winner should have been a glorious moment in its own right, within the context of Bangor City’s season it was a really glorious moment. When you add the bitter disappointment that enveloped my last two visits to Llanelli, for example last season Llanelli scored in the sixth of three injury time minutes, it became an extremely glorious moment.

There were several more reasons to bask in the glorious result. Firstly, we remained at the top of the league. Secondly, it was the first time that I’d seen Bangor City win in Stebonheath. Thirdly, after last season’s debacle it was sweet to see roles reversed. Lastly, after a fairly turgid match and a day of travel it was great to see a win.

The last minute of matches can be magical, transforming doom and despair into altogether happier feelings circumstances. One second you may be wondering why you came, you’ll be stressing about getting back to the station and annoyed about more dropped points. Everything feels as though it’s too much trouble. When a goal is scored a few seconds after the grey thoughts you’re then jumping around the terrace a-whooping and a-hollaring. In these changed circumstances the journey home becomes a long period of glorious remembrance and joyful moidering. The “Over 55 Ultras” certainly had a fine journey back.

Bala Town 0 Bangor City 1
Welsh Premier League

If you’re ever planning a journey to Bala in the back of an SUV here are some tips. Firstly; don’t go to Bala in the back of an SUV, the same goes for travelling in a minibus. Secondly, if you have no other option apart from travelling by SUV, or minibus, keep the horizon in view at all times. Lastly, if you’re planning to meet people find out where people are meeting up before you get to Bala’s high street otherwise you’ll spend 20 minutes going around all the pubs.

During the match the Blue Army realised that the negative reports about Bala’s pitch were not exaggerated; after only a few minutes the pitch was “cutting up”, as the cliché says. By the end of the match it would not be an exaggeration to say that parts of the pitch looked like the Glastonbury festival site after the annual rain-drenched orgy of music and drinking.

If you bore the pitch in mind, as well as the fact that Lee Hunt was throwing himself around up front, Bangor did well to win this match.

Bangor City 1 Neath FC 3
Welsh Premier League

I don’t only play “Nimby Bingo” on trains I also play a game called “Short Fuse”. The rules of “Short Fuse” are very simple;

1. Find a seat with a table in front of it.

2. Sit on the seat and wait for the game to begin. (At this stage the game either happens, or it doesn’t – For the game to take place you need people sitting near  your seat.)

3. When the people are talking you need to listen to what they are saying. (This won’t be a problem as inconsiderate fuckers always communicate that little bit too loudly,)

4. Start reading.

5. Time how quickly you want to rip the book in two.

The competitive part of the game is to break your previous time. I think I broke my record today so before I go further I must say that because my success had some assistance I must pay tribute to those that helped. So I’d like to say a big thank you the fucking students that sat across from me on the train.

In my time playing this game I have found that the self-centred shite emanating from students’ mouths is good fuel for the game.). It’s the way they all speak in that typical student manner;  sentences liberally peppered with  “like”, condensing complex ideas into two words “……..and stuff” and ending sentences with a rising lilt. I believe the language is called “Trying to sound profound whilst annoying every fucker as they do it”. Students usually ejaculate such good quality shite you can go from nought to pissed off in about 3 and half minutes.  By the way self-opinionated Tory twats and self-appointed comedians also provide good fuel for the game.

In today’s worry-clad economic climate there’s nothing better than hearing people tell you that they were “So smashed in Rome I nearly missed their flight to Nice!!!” so it was lucky I was sitting next to some lovely travelling companions. Here are the very edited highlights of their wonderful adventures;

“Was it last year that we went travelling in Asia, or the year before?”

“Yeah it was just after we got back from Israel” (Avoiding mention of the imperialist connotations of Israeli society)

“Bestival was like sooooooooooo good this year”

“When we were travelling (said with the tone that say it’s my inalienable human right to experience the world like this) on the West Coast I loved it in “San Fran”

There’s nothing finer for demonstrating the decadence of our age than students comparing life experiences. It’s not so much that they’d done everything they have, it’s the fact that they had to involve everybody else in their loud passive-aggressive battles of coolness.

Unfortunately this wasn’t the first time that really annoying people really annoyed me today; Neath’s players managed to go into a 3-0 lead by half-time. This was most disconcerting as I’d been mentally prepared for Bangor to be 7 points clear of XXX XXX XXXXXX. (dependent on other results obviously.)

It’s funny how things annoy during one set of circumstances but amuse during another set of circumstances. For example Lee Trundle’s ongoing battle with gravity is rather amusing when Neath are losing to Bangor but very annoying when Bangor are  losing 3-0. When you’re losing 3-0 you also start to notice other little things as well, like how Trundle can’t resist trying to referee the match. The match wasn’t much better in the second half, Bangor scored early in the second half but the second goal didn’t come.

In truth Bangor were well beaten. Unfortunately because XXX XXX XXXXXX won we were now only one point ahead of them. However, I was still hopeful, all Bangor needed to do was beat XXX XXX XXXXXX next week and the gap between us and them would be back up to 4 points. I knew this would happen.

Bangor City 1 XXX XXX XXXXXX X
Welsh Premier League

A match happened on this afternoon.




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