The 2010 Jet Set Awards

4 01 2011

The winners include;

Highlight of the Year

1. 2010 Welsh Cup Final – We were winning 2-0 easily in the first half. Then we were drawing 2-2 by the last 5 minutes. Then we grimly hung on with white fingertips. Then we prayed for extra time. Then Sion crossed the ball and Dave Morley rose to meet it with his head. The ball went in and the Jet Set cleared 2 rows of seats in celebration. We even managed to help organise the coach travel for the blue army!

2. Bangor City 2 Honka Espoo 1 –  Before the match there was a certain feeling doing the rounds, that little thing called hope! Bangor City finally stood a good chance of progressing in European competition, defeat simply wasn’t on the agenda! Then the game started and Honka scored. Suddenly it wasn’t so easy and to make things worse Honka looked dangerous as they applied pressure to our defence. By the second half things were getting desperate but then we scored. Hope was back  but quickly replaced by tension; although the fates seemed with us a goal wasn’t coming. Then there was a cross followed by confusion. In the melee we managed to see Chris Jones hit the ball for our winner. Bangor were through and the Jet Set stood there shaking and elated, unable to comprehend what we’d just seen.

Lowlight of the Year

Sharing a pitch with Llandudno’s 6-a-side league players

Over the years we’ve grown tired of the players, the fans, the hype and even some football but we thought that was as far as our ennui with the game could go. Unfortunately our ennui has increased, now we’ve grown tired playing football. Thank you Llandudno’s players!

When they’re not trying to maim you, they’re too loud or they trying to use you as a canvas for their football art. The worst ones are the players that combine these characteristics with a lack of skill.

The following example represents the main reason why we’ve become disenchanted with playing; The Jet Set’s Right Wing Back moved towards the attacking gobshite in possession of the ball. The gobshite decided to show his skill by knocking it past our cultured player and proclaiming “SKINNED!!” to the world. Unfortunately for the gobshite he not only knocked it past our cultured wing back, he knocked it out of play. One suspects that our cultured wing back wasn’t the first intended victim for this skilful move.

The behaviour of gobshites like this is probably another example of how Soccer AM has ruined football

Player of the Year

1. Michael Johnston – The connoisseur’s choice. Never hurried, always in the right place, composed, passes, dribbles, blocks, tackles, clears off the line, complete player. Says hello to the Jet Set on a frequent basis.

2. Luis Suarez – Scorer of many goals at the world cup, all fabulous. Scorer many goals for Ajax too. But the main reason he gets our award is his last-minute handball in the quarter final against Ghana.

Imagine the following situation; You are standing on the line and the ball is heading for the top, your team’s chance of glory is slipping away! You instinctively palm the ball away. As you’re a striker you knew all along you’d be are sent off but you did it anyway. You also knew that a penalty would be awarded but at least there’s a chance they’ll miss the pen. As you walk off the pitch you are glad you “took one for the team” but then the fact you will miss the game hits you, you are very sad. They miss the penalty, you are so relieved that your team has a chance in the penalty shoot-out, you lose your head and celebrate like you’ve scored a winner yourself. Would you have done anything different?

The main reason Luis gets a share in our award is the incredulous reactions the incident produced, we’re looking at you Andy Townsend and your feelings of “bruised justice”. Those who should know better on the When Saturday Comes Message Board should think about what they’ve done too, especially as some on the WSC message still won’t let it lie. These people would also have recalled post-colonial history in the split second before the ball crossed the line to let the ball go in, they would not have ruined Africa.

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