And now, the latest from the catwalk!

30 09 2010

In days of yore, when the Jet Set were in the midst of their salad days, academia was a vocation and Top Man was a shop were you could buy cheaply made clothes at cheap prices. During this time we bought many a lovely piece that would withstand one night out and one vigourous wash. The ideas behind the clothes were soooo different, one shirt made us look like evil dentists.

We were jogged into this reminiscence by this morning’s e-mail from Top Man.  For once we actually read one of their e-mails and immediately regretted making the effort. The e-mail was typical marketing bumph from people who like to see themselves as hip young gunslingers. Then we noticed, Top Man are now charging £100 for a Jumper and £75 for pre-ripped Jeans!!

We have been to a Top Man since University but we didn’t stay long enough to check the prices as they still appeared to be hawking clothes incapable of lasting a fortnight. How did we miss the transformation of Top Man?

If we cast our minds back we vaguely remember that Kate Moss “collaborated” with Top Man’s scally sister, Top Shop. We vaguely remembered that “everybody” thought this gave Top Shop (a high street shop selling shoddy looking clothes) a veneer of exclusivity. Top Man seem to think that this entitles them to charge people astronomical sums for tat. When we read the e-mail a little more closely it got worse, there was actually an inspiration behind their collection of misshapen jumpers and faux-suede bomber jackets;

Topman Design AW10 Range - New lines added.  This collection takes inspiration from East Berlin and army surplus clothing with a distinct punk aesthetic.  New lines are being added every week so be sure to check back regularly





First of all we despaired. For years we’ve ploughed one of our style furrows using the Worker’s Paradise as an example,  Jurgen Sparwasser  (hero of the People’s Republic) was a particular icon. And now this, a multi national comes along with their hip and trendy young designers and rides rough shod over the truly stylish by corrupting our statements through mass-production.

Now we need a new look – and then hope that the hip young things at Top Man don’t spoil it. Should we adopt the look of the 1930s French Popular Front, or go for Hungarian Uprising chic. We should have remembered that fashion is a constantly evolving world and just reverted back to being style leaders.

What the hell is wrong with these lazy bastards masquerading as designers. They seem to think that it’s enough to recycle stuff – Last Saturday we saw Lace leotards in Matalan for crying out loud!! We’re about to suffer a plague of Cyndi Lauper-esque women, Beware!! Why, oh why are we living in such a “wacky” age?

But even in this fashion epoch of “wacky” and ironic mingling why the hell would designers see inspiration in the grey dictatorship of the Stasi, Erich Honecker and green/orange/purple rivers. To turn such a time into an ironic style statement, well what can you say? We’ll start with a few words, the designers at Top Man are twats.



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