Textual Harassment.

15 07 2010

When you can’t get to Europe to watch your team play you are surrounded by a problem, wrapped in a dilemma, how is one meant to keep up with events? 

The first port of call was one of those websites which point you in the direction of other websites showing live football. We’d forgotten that when you’re looking for  Bangor City on TV  the powers that be discriminate against you,  we should have known that it wouldn’t be on anywhere. Secondly, we thought we could rely on texts from friends at the match but the exorbitant cost of texting from abroad had put them off. We were left with one option; Text Updates on UEFAs website. 

The information below is how a match looks in textform. The starkness of the text doesn’t adequately express the feeling of utter dread when you’re waiting for the minute-by-minute updates. Each wait is interminable, is the next update going to be bad, terrible or just plain disastrous? We tried thinking that the next one would be a Bangor goal but hope is the first step to disappointment.

Ladies and Gentlemen may we present Bangor’s best away result in Europe for nearly 50 years, here’s the story of FC Honka 1 Bangor City 1.

  • 90+2
    Ward (Bangor City) is adjudged to be in an offside position.
  • 90+1
    Heikkilä (Honka) gives away a free-kick following a challenge on Jones (Bangor City).
  • Yellow Card 90
    Morley (Bangor City) is shown a yellow card.
  • 89
    Savage (Honka) gives away a free-kick following a challenge on Ward (Bangor City).
  • 89
    Hoy (Bangor City) gives away a free-kick following a challenge on Vasara (Honka).
  • 86
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 86
    Koskinen (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • 85
    Garside (Bangor City) fouls.
  • 85
    Koskimaa (Honka) misses the target.
  • 84
    Rasimus (Honka) misses the target.
  • 83
    Edwards (Bangor City) delivers the corner.
  • 82
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 82
    Savage (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • 82
    Edwards (Bangor City) takes the free-kick.
  • 81
    Koskinen (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Jones (Bangor City).
  • Yellow Card 81
    Schüller (Honka) is cautioned by the referee.
  • 81
    Schüller (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Hoy (Bangor City).
  • Substitution 79
    Otaru (in) – Aalto (out) (Honka)
  • Substitution 79
    Williams (in) – Davies (out) (Bangor City)
  • 77
    Vasara (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Ward (Bangor City).
  • 75
    Koskinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 71
    Schüller (Honka) misses the target.
  • 71
    Schüller (Honka) takes the free-kick.
  • Substitution 71
    Rasimus (in) – Vuorinen (out) (Honka)
  • 70
    Morley (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Vasara (Honka).
  • 69
    Savage (Honka) misses the target.
  • 69
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 69
    Vasara (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • 67
    Schüller (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Jones (Bangor City).
  • Substitution 65
    Vasara (in) – Paatelainen (out) (Honka)
  • 65
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 65
    Vuorinen (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • Yellow Card 64
    Jones (Bangor City) is cautioned by the referee.
  • 64
    Jones (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Schüller (Honka).
  • 63
    Puustinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 62
    Ward (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Savage (Honka).
  • Substitution 61
    Bull (in) – Jebb (out) (Bangor City)
  • 60
    Puustinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 60
    Peltonen (Honka) makes a save.
  • 60
    Jones (Bangor City) has an effort on goal.
  • Goal 58
    Jones (Bangor City) scores!
  • 58
    Koskinen (Honka) takes the corner.
  • Yellow Card 57
    Smith (Bangor City) is cautioned by the referee.
  • 56
    Savage (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Ward (Bangor City).
  • Substitution 52
    Edwards (in) – Brewerton (out) (Bangor City)
  • 51
    Davies (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Koskimaa (Honka).
  • 49
    Garside (Bangor City) has a shot blocked.
  • 49
    Savage (Honka) is flagged for offside.
  • 47
    Garside (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Savage (Honka).
  • 46
    Lepola (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Jones (Bangor City).
  • Start Time
    The second half begins.
  • End Time
    The referee blows for half-time.
  • 45+1
    Paatelainen (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Johnston (Bangor City).
  • 45
    Ward (Bangor City) takes the free-kick.
  • 45
    Koskimaa (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Davies (Bangor City).
  • Goal 43
    Savage (Honka) scores!
  • 42
    Schüller (Honka) takes the corner.
  • 42
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 42
    Koskinen (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • 40
    Schüller (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Hoy (Bangor City).
  • 39
    Puustinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 36
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 36
    Schüller (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • 36
    Puustinen (Honka) has a shot blocked.
  • Penalty 35
    Paatelainen (Honka) misses from the penalty spot.
  • Yellow Card 35
    Johnston (Bangor City) is shown a yellow card.
  • 35
    Johnston (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Puustinen (Honka).
  • 34
    Paatelainen (Honka) takes the corner.
  • 33
    Vuorinen (Honka) has a shot blocked.
  • 32
    Ward (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Savage (Honka).
  • 32
    Ward (Bangor City) takes the corner.
  • Yellow Card 31
    Aalto (Honka) is shown a yellow card.
  • 31
    Aalto (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Jones (Bangor City).
  • 30
    Garside (Bangor City) misses the target.
  • 30
    Lepola (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Jebb (Bangor City).
  • 29
    Paatelainen (Honka) takes the corner.
  • 29
    Vuorinen (Honka) has a shot blocked.
  • 27
    Lepola (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Morley (Bangor City).
  • 25
    Garside (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Lepola (Honka).
  • 23
    Vuorinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 21
    Smith (Bangor City) makes a save.
  • 21
    Vuorinen (Honka) has an effort on goal.
  • 20
    Koskimaa (Honka) has a shot blocked.
  • 20
    Schüller (Honka) takes the corner.
  • 19
    Vuorinen (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Johnston (Bangor City).
  • 17
    Paatelainen (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Garside (Bangor City).
  • 15
    Koskimaa (Honka) commits a foul after challenging Morley (Bangor City).
  • 15
    Paatelainen (Honka) takes the corner.
  • 14
    Davies (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Aalto (Honka).
  • 12
    Jebb (Bangor City) is flagged for offside.
  • 11
    Schüller (Honka) takes the free-kick.
  • 11
    Jones (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Savage (Honka).
  • 10
    Schüller (Honka) takes the free-kick.
  • 10
    Johnston (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Vuorinen (Honka).
  • 7
    Koskinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 6
    Garside (Bangor City) commits a foul after challenging Paatelainen (Honka).
  • 4
    Puustinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • 3
    Puustinen (Honka) misses the target.
  • Start Time
    The match is under way.

 

You can really feel the romance can’t you?

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One response

18 07 2010
Mixu aiming to keep Bryson | Football fans

[…] Textual Harassment. « Llandudno Jet Set […]

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