Book Review – Part One

26 04 2010

Anyone familiar with philosophy will know that Solipsism is a concept that states the following; only one’s own mind is certain to exist. There have been a number of critiques of this position, one said; “Why would a solipsist create things such as pain and loss for himself or herself? More generally, it might be asked “If the world is completely in my head, how come I don’t live the most fantastic life imaginable?” “

This discourse came to mind after finding, and then reading, a book several weeks ago. We walked past a Llandudno charity shop and there it was sitting in the window. We looked more closely and it got better, it was only £2!! We’d been looking for the book for an eternity so it took a while to believe that it was finally in our grasp. We were now the proud owners of “Lovejoy on football”!!! And we’d done our bit for charity too.

We always felt that we simply needed this weighty tome in our life after reading the reviews a few years ago. The review in When Saturday Comes whetted our appetites to such an extent that we couldn’t wait to see  it on the bargain shelves in Asda. Unfortunately it never appeared.

We already hated Lovejoy anyway (smug with a particularly irritating effect on football) but the Jet Set has a masochistic streak and we long to be offended. We were keen  to see if it was as bad as the review suggested, we wanted our worst fears confirmed.

To cut a long story short, our worst fears were confirmed. In fact, Lovejoy is worse than we originally thought. There were times during the read (6 hours cover to cover) that the work took on a faintly comedic style, like one long joke at someone’s expense (the buyer?).  After reading another brilliant thought a new question  came to mind; how can anyone so great be such a twat?

Lovejoy hates “real fans” because they are fundamentalists (suffering from little problems like not wanting to  miss a game and remembering scores) but loves twattish  managers. “Real fans” are twats but glory hunters are ok. Replica shirts are ace but complaining about your chairman isn’t (“they take all the risks, back ’em”), playing in celebrity football matches is ace but referees are twats, deluding yourself that you’re good enough to be a pro is ace but other sports are crap  (unless you’ve met people from those other sports). It goes on and on and on and on……………..and on and on………….

My favourite bit occurred when he slagged off clubs that give away home advantage in cup ties. They usually do this so they can make a bit more money (money which will help them keep their heads above water for another season) but Lovejoy couldn’t give a shit about that – “People are too interested in money, just watch the football!”. Like the review said, he truly has no feeling for anything lower than the sainted premier league.

Then we stepped outside of the box and began to think about the philosophical underpinnings of his work. Maybe it wasn’t the work of a deluded egotist after all, maybe Lovejoy is a philosophical hero? To judge from his work Lovejoy could be the man who “lives the most fantastic life imaginable”, he is the man who proves the existence of Solipsism. On the other hand……….

“Lovejoy on Football” is  the story of a man who thinks that thousands of people clapping their hands above their head in whilst chanting “easy, easy” in contempt is some kind of great thing. “Lovejoy on Football” is quite simply the worst football book we have ever read.




4 responses

27 04 2010

Only one person can have that book at a time, you got in first!!!!

27 04 2010

At least the money went to charity!! We may not have Lovejoy but we have got Murray (help, help!!), on the other hand, at least he hasn’t written a book like Lovejoy.

27 04 2010

All too true. A diabolical read. But what’s worse is that Lovejoy seems to be worming his way back on to Radio 5 Live and was even linked with recent vacancy at MOTD. That would truly have presented a dilemma and I would probably have been forced to stop watching the programme had he been appointed. You could have spent that £2 on an infinite variety of more worthwhile things.

26 04 2010

Whilst reading the second paragraph of your post I really thought you’d found a copy of ‘Good gosh it’s Tosh’. Oh well.

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