There be a whitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24 04 2010
Bangor City 0 Newtown 0
Welsh Premier League

At 2:25 we were off to Europe. Recent results had gone our way and we were off to Europe, let’s get the passports ready!!! We only needed to rely on XXX XXX XXXXXX winning and they needed to win to win the league, so we were in Europe, now where did I put that travel insurance form? Newtown? Who were they? We’d do them!

So the match started and we were straight into it. Oh yes we were going into to Europe alright. We just had to score, a case of “when” and not “if”. We just had to, it was written in the stars. Then we hit the bar after the keeper was stranded, and Reedy hit the quick flying rebound wide. Never mind, we were going to Europe!!!!! Half time appeared in what seemed like minutes. We were going to Europe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So the second half started and we had the ball, we had the pressure, we started to make the chances. We were getting close!! We were definitely going to Europe!!…………….

 Then Fucking Newtown and their fucking manager ruined it all.

Bangor were trying to do something with the ball, we had the chances, the pressure and the moral fibre. Newtown had resolution. They defended well and the pressure made Bangor go long. Now I’m not saying that Newtown aren’t entitled to prevent defeat, it’s a clause  in the EU’s Human Rights Charter or something. It’s up to us to break them down, which is fine, the spirit of football and all that. Newtown contravened this spirit when they indulged in a display of cynicism unseen since Melchester Rovers played dodgy Italian teams in the European Cup. For example;

Bangor hit the post and the ball hit the keeper’s back, the ball then hit the post again and went out. The inflated ball of waterproofed leather caused the keeper to develop a hip injury and this caused him to lie prone, corpse-like. Their physio did his work and he was alive, the keeper was alive!!!!!!!!! Only he couldn’t take goal kicks. He could jump up and claim crosses and but he couldn’t take goal kicks. Well he was ok to go out and claim corners until he slipped. He was corpse-like again. The physio and his necromancy worked again and the keeper was up, again!!! He still couldn’t take goal kicks though. Several times Newtown players lay motionless then the physio’s black magic revived their cadavers, he revived their  sneering expressions too. We were lucky that this match didn’t take place in the middle ages as the physio wouldn’t have had to endure the trail by ducking stool. Burn Him, Burn Him!!!!!!!

So while we harboured hopes of European football, Newtown harboured hopes of…….well this was unclear thanks to the Super 12. Without winning they would definitely be outside the Super 12.  What the fuck was all the time-wasting, diving, fabrication of injury and the other crap for?  They didn’t even try to win, hardly a shot was witnessed. They weren’t going anywhere apart from the Cymru Alliance. Good fucking riddance Ryan.

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One response

25 04 2010
guyincognito76

Ooh, the Mr Men are Bangor fans; they should have sat in the stand though, fill it out a little.

They are more animated than the average Bangor fan though. Oh! Don’t roll your eyes at me.

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