Well you can’t trust foreigners can you?

19 11 2009

Of  course Henry cheated, he’s a dirty foreigner. You’ll never see the saintly Michael Owen dive twice against Argentina in two consecutive World Cups. You’ll never see Stevie G exaggerate. You’ll never see Lamps sprawling on the floor to award himself a free kick. You’ll never see dainty old Wayne Rooney hold up his hands in disgust to award himself a free kick. “We Don’t Cheat Guv!!”

Footballers are the moral philosophers of sport, what they say should be the basis of our ethics. You have to repect their opinion.

When Tony Cascarino bangs on about how Thierry is an “insincere cheat, with a tarnished reputation” you have to respect it. When he talks about how “Maradona tarnished his rep” you have to respect it (no-one likes Maradona now). When he says “I would never cheat” you have to respect it. When he says “I am gutted for football” you have to respect his opinion. (Bloody hell, someone else is weeping for football, this must be the reason why we’re suffering floods. He’s appears to be so gutted for football that he’s donated the fee for this article to his Bank Account.)

You have to respect all that the Irish International (88 caps no less) says. You have even more reason to respect his opinion when you consider that old Tony admitted in a unflinching and lucrative autobiography that, despite winning more caps than Liam Brady, Paul McGrath and Packie Bonner, he didn’t have any family connection with Ireland whatever.

Football enjoys its moral relativism. You are a cheat, I am professional.

 

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