Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear

31 01 2009
Bangor City 1 Rhyl 1
(Bangor Won 4-2 on penalties)
Welsh Cup 4th Round

 

One story, four versions

1. The Reporter

11:30: This was it, Judgement Day. This time we were ready for it. North Wales was ready, the Police were ready, the newly-installed fences were ready, the stewards were ready, the crisps were ready (salted). The shop was ready. The ground was eerie, this wasn’t the place of North Wales’ biggest ever security operation surely. Then disconcerting news filtered through; the marauding masses were on their way. Fans were cowering behind their pint glasses.

Then, just as the foreboding was at a peak more disconcerting news, “they” had arrived. They were finally here!!! Now we knew what the approaching roaring had been. The police,  thinking of conflict diffusion, escorted the Rhyl faces off the train and into the safety of the Bangor pub. “We’ve got 500-700 coming!!” they menaced.

3:00 :    87 Rhyl fans trudge out of Farrar Road after watching THE BEST TEAM IN THE HISTORY OF WELSH FOOTBALL EVER EVER EVER (no comebacks) lose on penalties. There was no singing, only the listness movements of the humiliated. 

2. The Screenwriter

And lo it came to pass, 14 idols in blue upon the green turf of destiny, each men a hero in waiting. The fates conspired against them at the outset; firstly, the leader received his marching orders as the result of the adjudicator’s embarrassment. Secondly the villains in white verily set about the idols with all means at their disposal, fair and mostly foul. The adjudicator appeared to have forgotten the rules by which the parameters of  battle and gentlemanly conduct are set.

The contest was enchanting, ebb and flow, back and fore; each thrust parried, each counter thrust parried. The blue custodian was heroism personified. Every attempt of assault upon his character was stymied, the villainous attackers floundering against the waves of heroic defiance. The hearts of the blue idols was oaken; every challenge was bested, one less man meant no-less effort.

Then, when the contest was still level, the blues gained the lead. Twas a good day to be a blue. However the contest was not finished, the villains carried on plotting. Just as the blues were ready to wear the mantle of victory, victory,  the cruelest of mistresses, decided otherwise. The villains had achieved equality.

An added period was needed and this was nerve-wracking for both the heroes and the villains.  There were seldom chances to settle matters. It then fell to the dreaded elimination struggle.  The first member of the villains strode towards the target, he had purpose in his eyes, fire in his belly and ample recompense in his pockets. He struck the ball, it struck the target; “clang” resounded the target. Advantage to the heroes!!! Both sides registered clean blows before the blue custodian prevented the final effort of the Villains from counting. The new hero stepped forward to make his blow count and the blue heroes were triumphant.

3. The Poet

We’re Through,

Rhyl are blue

Boo Hoo,

wept the Crocodile

4. The Fan

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

Get on that Scallies!!! Stick you £12 Grand a week up your arse!!! Do one muppets!!! Who are ya? Who are ya? Who are ya?

Whichever you look at it, a wonderful day on God’s green earth.

2009_0131new120088.

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