Filling in the Gaps

11 12 2008

In this fast-paced world you just can’t remain stationary. Doing nothing will leave you stranded, stranded while the movers and shakers move and shake into the golden future. To the committed reader of this weblog it may appear as though the Jet Set have been standing still, well I can assure you comrades that we haven’t.

We have still been going to watch association football but we have also seen an opportunity to help humanity.  Now that Capitalism is finally in its death throes  the Jet Set have been doing our utmost to facilitate its demise by helping give birth  to a more humane society. We have been out there inspiring the proletariat to rise up and it’s been working Comrades!! The revolution is around the corner and we have nothing to lose but our chains.

29/11/08
Bangor City 4 Cefn Druids 2
Welsh Premier League

The football hasn’t been all forward momentum however. About two weeks ago the ancients from Cefn Mawr made us all feel uncomfortable. We took the lead easily enough, a log range pea-roller from Sharpy, but then we seemed to forget about getting a second goal. Cefn Druids then scored two of their own just before half time. There was much moaning afoot.

Luckily we remembered how to string a few passes together about ten minutes into the second half and Les smashed the ball into the goal. The look on his face eloquently expressed our released tension. Football Genius then headed us in front and the moaning was replaced by joyful cheering.  The ancients had a man sent off for a filthy challenge. Les scored his second and the result was safe after this. The end result still wasn’t enough to warm the  blood in my hands, luckily they weren’t  frozen because the appearance of my new woolen gloves.

6/12/08
Prestatyn Town 2 Bangor City 2
Welsh Premier League

A week later and it’s still cold. We’re  going to Prestatyn for the first time in bright, crisp and low sunshine. I missed the inconsequential first five minutes and arrived to see the blue boys attacking with the sun at their backs. I thought better of going blind so went into the shade. What I gained in visuals I lost in temperature and peace and quiet. Bloody hell, what the hell do people find to moan about, do we have to win every game 6-0 or something? Les was not trying apparently.

Sharpy picked up the ball from a suspiciously offside position and took it around the Iceberg of a keeper before passing it home. Les was still not trying. Prestatyn passed the ball about and Les was still not trying. I said I preferred my geniuses to be given to  explosive acts of skills that turn matches but the pitchside critics wouldn’t have this. Prestatyn scored and I must assume that this was because Les was not trying. To be honest Prestatyn deserved an equaliser for their play. 

On our side the pitch appeared akin to a bog. In these sanitised days you don’t see pitches like this on TV, hence you don’t see players with really dirty kit. It was refreshing to see the linesman’s socks and boots were caked in mud when he squelched past. Proper football, just like t’good old days.

About 5 minutes from the end of the first half I saw my first ever proper open goal miss. The player was 2 yards  off the goaline and in the middle of the goal. He connected with the ball but it flew over the goal. 

Watching an open goal miss must be one of the most astonishing sights on a football pitch, or anywhere in fact. The ball just has to be struck with a foot into the goal, it’s an action that’s so much second nature to anyone that plays football  it’s almost a reflex action. You feel the dread, you anticipate the worst, you get yourself ready but the ball does not enter the goal. It’s one of the rare moments when you doubt the evidence of your eyes, when you feel your brain trying to comprehend what you’ve just witnessed. How the bloody hell did it happen? I still can’t figure it out. Maybe the bumpy pitch was to blame and that was probably Les’ fault too.

Half time is a great time for gossip and most of it was about the cold, if it wasn’t about the cold a lot of people seemed to think that Les should go off. I think they were trying to link the coldness to Les somehow. About 10 seconds into the second half and Bangor were ahead, Les was definitely to blame for this; it was a calm finish from Sharpy’s pass. Bangor looked like they were in control after this but they didn’t really trouble the man mountain keeper in two tone yellow, doesn’t he know that black is more flattering to the fuller figure?

As Bangor didn’t score another guess what happened next? Prestatyn equalised, surprise, surprise. Podgy Keeper turned around to taunt us. To be fair to him he must have been happy; an unlikely point won and the prospect of  a couple of takeaways later on. We trudged homeward through the mud, what a lovely sunset I thought. Bugger, I’d forgotten my camera.

 

 

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