Was that a tremor?

27 10 2008

Just when north Wales was breathing freely again…

The people were so overjoyed on Saturday lunchtime that they forgot the two behemoths would be meeting again tomorrow in the League Cup.

Yesterday morning north Wales woke up with a sense of foreboding as people gradually remembered. To make matters worse rumours had been circulating all Saturday night, via the internet, that Far Eastern betting syndicates were behind the waterlogging of the pitch. Every other pitch in North Wales was playable, the gardens of houses next to the ground were playable, something sinister was afoot. Apparently there had been irregular betting patterns about such an event. Message boards were literally on fire due to this revelation.

Much invective flew. One heoric Rhyl fan went on to the Bangor message board to indulge in some badinage. One knew he was a Rhyl fan despite the assumed identity; the spelling was shocking. He spake forth thusly; “I dunno know wot the fuss is, y didn’t they jusst let GPO (Bangor’s President) and Powell (Bangor’s Manager) spaek for a bit and the “hot air” would of dried the pitch. Bangor jusst Chickened out.”

One of Bangor’s fans doubted whether this plan would work. Firstly, was it possible that the lung capacity of 2 adult males was large enough to expel enough of this “hot air” in order to dry the sodden turf of a football pitch? Especially when one of those adults was elderly. Secondly, Bangor had no means of collecting this “hot air” together, we haven’t got a marquee, an airship or a balloon. Did this Rhyl fan expect the two gentlemen to stand there all night breathing out of something?

The Rhyl fan simply wouldn’t agree. GPO and Powell could; “…dry out Wembley if it was under 6 foot of water. Chick, chick, chicken lay a little egg for me”

I’m afraid to say the relations are at an even lower ebb than they were so a confrontation between the sides appears imminent. As a result the North Wales Police have cancelled all leave and advised householders to take precautions. It is reported that panic buying of essentials have resulted in shortages of sandbags, bottled water and sterilisation tablets. 

One hopes that the situation doesn’t deteriorate further, for all our sakes.

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