Euro, Euro, Euro

5 06 2008

Euro 2008 is a day away but you may not have noticed, the build up has been fairly muted. This may have something to do with the fact that Ing-Ger-Land failed to negotiate their way to the Alpine Tournament.

Not that this is a bad thing as without Ing-Ger-Land we have been able to listen to the radio without Chris Moyles banging on about the footy, we have been able to watch TV without footy being thrust upon us every 10 seconds and we have been able to walk around supermarket unmolested by special footy displays or special footy announcements.

“Don’t forget to get the special footy charcoal for your special footy barbecues, don’t forget to pick up your special footy beer and your special footy inflatable hat, it won’t be the footy without them”

When it comes to major championships choosing a team is always the first step for a Wales fan. This time I was on the horns of a dilemma, I couldn’t decide who to follow; there was no plucky underdog, no Latvia or Slovenia.

I tried the political angle. No government seems able to resist the appeal of the market so this option’s redundant out for picking the right team. It does rule out a few though; Russia, due to it’s posturing; Poland due to its homophobic twins; Croatia due to some of their Nazi-ish fans; Italy due to Signor Berlusconi.

I focussed on the players, so who do I like? Petr Cech seems ok and I like Luca Toni but aside from them no-one springs to mind. Hateful players, now there’s something. Now let’s see. Portugal’s out, Ronaldo the show pony, Carvalho the ungentleman; Materazzi, the tattooed crackpot; Baldy Robben and Van Horseface, the diving specialists in orange; Romania, Paul Bodin still lingers.

Then I looked at the other teams as a whole, I found that couldn’t care less. Sweden, pah; Switzerland; 400 years of brotherly love and what did that produce? Discretion; Czech Republic, old; Greece, boring; Turkey, and?; Germany, no Kaiser no point.

So that leaves three, Spain, France and Austria.

Espana; Alonso, Torres, Albeloa, Reina but a crusty old racist manager, that’s them out.

Austria; nice place, The Third Man and Living Daylights and they’re crap so we have a plucky underdog type angle.

France; Je ne se quoi, Platini, Zidane, May’68.

It was a tricky decision but about a month and a half ago the clincher appeared;

A football classic!!

So at the end of the day Brian, it’s Allez Les Bleus with a soupcon of hope for Austria.

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