Virtual Football, Real Tossers

8 12 2007
The weather put paid to most fixtures in North Wales today but all was not lost, Liverpool were on the telly against Reading. Club 147 was showing the match but has an unfortunate tendency to act as a magnet for dickheads of the loudmouth persuasion. For example I’d briefly encountered one chap, one that I remember from school, a few months ago. He seemed to take great delight in baiting Liverpool fans with his comments and then reeling them if they reacted. I held back from asking whether he had a lack of other leisure interests or friends because karma had made him a wanker and that was that.

Virtual football was in front of me and it was deeply unsatisfying, this wasn’t just due to the result either. One bloke behind us kept exhorting the Liverpool players to do things at the top of his voice. For example on one occassion Torres was 25 yards out . He had two defenders and a goalie between him and the goal: “Shoot you prick!!!!” was the instruction. Sissoko passed the ball backwards, not forwards, to retain possession; “For fuck Sake!!!”

And then you get the supporters of rival teams cheering when the opposition scores. Through years of practice I’ve built up a resistance to such cretinitude. I’ve realised they are beneath my contempt and so I move on to talk about films or answering trivia questions.

Then, Eureka!!!! I will invent a contraption that will filter out all the gobshites and loudmouths’ voices so we can concentrate on enjoying the company of nice people unmolested by the half-arsed opinion and general bollocks ejaculated by idiots. Until that point I will prey for the day that Zoo and Nuts decide football is for “poofters”, then these fuckers will leave us in peace.

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One response

27 01 2008
Anonymous

very good piece

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