A Goalkeeper scores again

13 10 2007
Llandudno Reserves 1 Llanerchymedd 1
(Llanerchymedd win on Penalties)
NWCFA Junior Cup 2nd Round
This was a strange match, even for one at this lowly reserve level.

Firstly, Llandudno’s manager couldn’t pronounce the opposition’s team name and didn’t know where they were from.

Secondly, the match was free from over the top challenges and simmering bad blood.

Thirdly, the ref was very good, he let play flow.

Fourthly, the match only had 2 goals

Fifthly, Llanerchymedd’s equaliser was scored in the last minute by the goalkeeper.

The last point was a little more than strange this week than any other, it was the second time I’d seen a goalie score with his head in a week, the first was obviously the legend’s in Rhyl. I relayed this fact to someone in the bar. The person I chose was actually the keeper’s dad and he told me that his son had been out last night until 4 and come back steaming drunk. The layers of legend were being added. In few years the story will have probably have been embroidered greatly.

“So there I was in the Bangor Travel Lodge, it was 10 t0 2 and I was next to Miss Llangefni. The knocking of bell boy had awoken me. I allowed him in and he surveyed the scene; the beautiful women, the loose change on the bedside cabinet, the cans of carling and the crisp packets, the half eaten kebabs and the empty pizza boxes strewn here and there. He recognised me from my star performances in the Anglesey league, I was quite the man about town then, anyway he asked me “where did it all go wrong sir?”. Can you believe that!!!! what a sense of comic timing.

I looked at my watch, I needed to be off sharpish. I got dressed, gave the young lady my number and I was straight into the car. I arrived at Maesdu Park just in time for kick off. My arrival was like 4 cans of red bull for my despondent team mates. My performance was great, if I don’t sound too big-headed, several of my teammates have told me as much over the years anyway. I went on to make several world class saves during the game. Their goal only went in because the scorer mishit the ball with his left whilst he was trying to kick it with his right foot. The ball also hit a bobble to bounce over my foot.

I was still cursing my luck when my chance for glory arrived; it was the last minute and we had a corner. At first I tried not to listen to my dad when he said “go on son push up!!”. I held my attacking instincts in check for a few seconds then I thought; “No, I owe my team this chance to go through”. Up I went. The cross came over in slow motion, I met it with a perfectly executed bicycle kick. So we had extra time. I was again heroic, as the others have also said countless times over the years. Then it was penalties, as you’ll probably know I saved 5 out of 5.
I don’t normally like to talk about that, as you know, but what can you do when a group of fawning teenagers gather around you pleading to here about those golden times, I just like to make people happy”

I actually left before the penalties so I could go and watch Wales. As if sitting through that match wasn’t bad enough I was the only customer so I had no-one to talk to or more exactly no-one to offer mutual emotional support. When customers actually deigned to drink there they took turns to belittle the Welsh language (the game was on s4c), the Welsh team, the size of the crowd, the Welsh Kit etc etc. The twattish barman was the catalyst for these less than complementary conversations about all things Welsh.

The tosser is the kind of person that has an opinion on everything, every one of them is not worth listening to. Thankfully he went upstairs after a while. Unfortunately his brief sojourn was all too brief. Upon his return he enquired about the score. My peaceful and philosophical contemplation of Wales losing to Cyprus was shattered by his guffawing, he plummeted even further in my estimation. My peace was ended and my anger at Wales’ ineptitude gently simmered. Not wishing to engage with the simpleton, I left the hostelry.
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