You just can’t enjoy football any more can you?

12 12 2011

 There are times in my life when I just roll with it like Liam Gallagher circa 1995.

At these times I get in and simply hang my attitude by the door,  kick off my trainers and pull on my tracksuit bottoms. Then I sit down to admire the footy on my telly. It’s good to be a bloody bloke!!!

I sit there just enthralled by the tekkers, marvelling at the showboats, waiting for the chance to thrust my arms and make the football fans’ grimace of joy (© Cunts in the Advertising Industry). Then I can’t wait to tweet what I think .

Marvellous, it’s what footy is all about!!!!

THE CHAMPIONS LEAGUE REALLY IS THE BEST FOOTBALL IN THE WORLD, I MEAN YOU JUST DON’T GET THISQUALITYINTHEWORLDCUPDOYOU?MESSI’SNEVERDONEINTHEWORLDCUPHASHE?YOUJUSTDON’TSEETEKKERSLIKEITINTHEWORLDCUPANDTHECHAMPIONSLEAGUE ISONEVERYYEARASWELLNOTEVERYFOURYEARSLIKETHEWORLDCUP……..

Recently when I’ve felt possessed by the spirit of banter my soul floats out of my body. It looks down calmly at first but then launches the foullest tirade of abuse that it’s possible to inflict upon a human being. When my soul returns I feel so discombobulated I need to sleep for 12 hours to recover.

As you can imagine I’m sick of this happening. I’m sick of getting involved in the whole sorry pantomime of the CHAMPIONS LEAGUE-LA LIGA – PREMIER LEAGUE, or the axis of bullshit” as I’ve started to call it. I’m glad when anything allows me to avoid the attention vortex of the “axis of bullshit” and allows my soul remain in its place. It’s a beautiful moment when I find stuff that reminds me just how morally bankrupt elite level football is.

Earlier today I came across this article about Inter’s expenditure on the Swiss Ramble blog. There were so many large numbers quoted in the article it may constitute porn for accountants. My favourite bit is the following paragraph;

“In fact, in the 16 years since Moratti took over, the club has accumulated losses of around €1.3 billion with the president personally putting in over €750 million. Moratti has been criticised by many Inter fans, but he can hardly be accused of not putting his money where his mouth is. Even if his decisions have not always been the best, the reality is that the president’s financial support has been an absolutely essential part of the club’s success”

Firstly,consider the situation where bloke puts that much money into a club and supporters still have a go. I hate football. Secondly consider the fact that this bloke put that much money in to a fucking football club. I hate football even more.

750 million euros. 750 fucking million fucking euros. For Fuck’s sake. That’s the value of trade between Spain and Angola. That’s the amount of money the World Bank lends to Poland. That’s 150 million Euros more than EDF is putting in to prolonging the lifespans of France’s Nuclear Reactors. That’s the amount the German government pays out in aid to its farmers over two years. That’s also amount of money that ONE person has put into a ONE football club to ensure they have a chance of momentary success.

Football makes me sick


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